Choking on Pitas

no kidding!?
"While it is true that 15% of home accidents are caused by large penis related incidents, only a small number have ever been known to be fatal." Well, thank goodness.
The forums are... enlightening... go guys!

I am collecting evidence...
which clearly suggests the Philadelphia is on its way straight to hell. More evidence here: 7/16/00. Additionally friends and family have recently reported eye witnessing more then 6 unrelated cases of violence within the past two weeks. I am really really concerned for the estimated 20 to 100 thousand protesters that are due in this city. Make sure to wear you safety helmets.

The Independent Media Center of Philadelphia
buckle up philly. its gonna get weird.

Dear Andrew Bird, I love you.
"You find you get a better feel, a better swing, if you always hold back just a little bit."

airtoons
I just though these were pretty humorous.
Thats it.

Again with the French Quarter...
He's joking right? Tell me he is joking.
"...they find themselves surrounded by speakers of Philadelphois, the Franco-Philadelphian dialect unique to this area."
He is fucking joking. What a relief.

The Anti-Me.
The Official Melissa Parker Fan site.
I should send her threatening mail.
<er... just kidding>

I worship marychen
Mainly cause she is goddess like and she showers me with divine goodness and light and without her I would have no faith or joy. ah. she just wrote this retelling of an april fool's day in high school that sent me reeling. Partly cause I love this story (I seem to remember saying something more like "april fools, fucko" but maybe that's selective memory) and partly cause she says the sweetest things. I am still blushing. Also. I still have the picture of Henry Rollins that hung in my locker.
GOD. I LOVE HER.

Edward Gorey is dead

choking on jesus
I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

Scheduled Executions
I am not even going to try to reason any side of this. I will only say that this has left me with the worst possible fear of injustice. injustice for all. everybody. the whole world.

Is Your Computer Possesed by a Demon?
I bet it is.
"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit"

Philadelphia + "French Quarter"
hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaaaa. ha.
RRRRRight. what so funny? nothing really. I was just checking my referral logs and found that somebody did a metacrawler search for Philadelphia + "French Quarter" Not only was I the second site to come up, but I think I am the only one to actually refer to Philadelphia's "French Quarter"
hahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaa. hee.

Edward Gorey in Salon
oh I do love him. be sure to look at the "Gorey Gallery"

boy simple
(probably only good from 9am to 6pm EST Mon-Fri)
This is my coworker, Ethan. Ethan is a sweetiepie. We like Ethan. If you are REALLY lucky you will get to see me, walkin by, headin to the water cooler, annoying Ethan, reading over his shoulder, making kissie faces into the cam... you know... whatever.

HAUNTED PAINTING
Marychen emailed me this url this morning. The subject was: "You need this". She is So right and god damn if I had money to spare it would be mine. How delightfully creepy and perfectly macabre! I was thinking though, I would probably need to get permission from my housemates about this. Kinda like if I wanted to bring home a dog or something: "Hey, do you mind if I purchased a painting that could maybe open the fissure between this world and the next, possibly subjecting us to the unholy forces for darkness, and ah, hang it in the living room? I promise to clean up after it"

how to pee standing up...
A guide for the rest of us.
Also: learn about Kegel Exercises for "Improved bladder control" ha ha ha and much much more ha ha ha.

Virtual Reality Moon Phase Pictures
I don't know quite why, but I find this completely sweet and pleasing. Though I have learned that my mother lied to me. she always told me I was born on a full moon. my world is shattered.

Wing Bowl VIII: A Distinctly Philadelphian Event
From an email: "Just wanted to announce to everyone what is one of the biggest annualevents in the Philadlephia area. Of course, I'm talking about the Wing Bowl. For those of you unfamiliar with this incredible tradition started eight years ago by 610 WIP all sports radio, the Wing Bowl is a collection of the greatest wing eaters in the Philadelphia area. These eaters compete against each other to see who can consume the most wings in a 45 minute period. Last year El-Wingador won with a toatl of 134 wings in 45 minutes. Eric Greg, former major league baseball ump, officitaes the events, and each wing eater has two female wingettes. Each contestant must perform an extraordinary eating feat to get into the contest (This year for example the Package ate a sheet cake made for 35 people.) This is serious eating. Over 8000 people come to watch this distinctly Philadelphian event."

classifieds.pitas.com
Oh shit, this is delightful. and painful. pleasure and pain. that's what it is all about

class of 1992 websites
Ok, so this is just so silly. Did they bother to look before they linked? Do they not care? How long will it be before somebody has an issue?
But ok, I am happy that all those people who don't remember me can now see how much my life has... gotten... more... more ah lifey.

ha ha fun fun good good
"update: A Linux user is taking credit for restoring service to Microsoft's Hotmail free email service, saying he paid a delinquent domain name registration fee that blocked access to some users over much of the Christmas weekend."

Beetles of the world
this helps satisfy a very deep pathological desire / obsession of mine. Dear GOD, I like bugs!

weekly world news on y2k
well, if the WWN is reporting it, it must not be true.

the raging tide or the black doll's imbroglio
Its an Edward Gorey choose your own adventure! The book itself is fun, but having it online seems so much more fitting and fun.
"If you find this detestable, turn to 8"
"If you wish to be morally improved, turn to 18"
"There is no going to town in a bathtub"!
God bless Edward Gorey.

PAXIL: your life is waiting!
"Are you overwhelmed with anxiety in social situations?"
need I ask? Anyhow, this site leaves me feeling sort of... wronged. Check out the "Storm Centers" The design itself is enough to make me panic.